T’was the Night Before Christmas

Filed under Dirty Jokes by admin on Sunday 24 December 2006
No Tags

I just couldn’t sleep.
So I hopped out of bed
and downstairs I did creep.

I went to the kitchen
in search of a bite.
If I filled up my stomach,
perhaps I’d sleep tight.

The cupboard was empty
the fridge, it was bare.
I searched but I couldn’t
find food anywhere.


(more…)

Please, Santa

Filed under Dirty Jokes by admin on Saturday 23 December 2006
No Tags

The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady
about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.

Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled
very nicely at him, so he asked her, “What do you want for
Christmas?”

“Something for my mother, please.” said the young lady.

“Something for your mother? Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,'’
smiled Santa. “What do you want me to bring her? ”

Without blinking she replied, “A son-in-law!”

I’m So Horney

Filed under Erotic Stories, Solo Sex by admin on Monday 31 July 2006
No Tags

I’m writing this letter for a very important reason. I’m horny. Horny enough to know I’d like to get laid or at least fool around, but not horny enough to take off my panties and play with my cunt. I know that if I write to you and tell you how horny I am, I’ll get hot enough to pet my pussy ’til I come.

Here’s what I’m doing right now. I’ve got my pen in my right hand and my left leg is up on the couch. I’m sitting at a folding table. I’ve just now taken off my panties. I haven’t touched my cunt yet, but I can feel cool air circulating around it, and it seems my clit is already kind of hard. I think my cunt’s a little wet, too. I just ran my middle finger up and down my slit, real gentle, not even opening up my cunt lips. Mmmmm, I did it again, only this time I stuck my finger into my slit. It’s kind of moist, and when I sniff my finger I get the most delicious sexual aroma.


Right now I’m holding my pussy lips open with my index and third fingers, and I’m using my middle finger to rub my clitoris. Ooooh, It feels so good!

My cunt’s pretty wet now, and I’m getting really excited. I’ve got my make-up mirror nearby, and now I’m looking at my cunt, and It’s very pink and shiny, and I’m going to sign off now so I can watch myself masturbate . . .

HEY!

Filed under Erotic Stories by admin on Monday 24 July 2006
No Tags

Maybe it’s their first Debate have some sensitivity!!! ;)
-
My First time was less than 2 years ago, but I can remember it VERY well…

I was at home for Christmas break or something when I was on this very board, I had been on before when I was under 18 just to look around, I always lied about my age because I had always ;looked and sounded older.

Anyhow I was online one day and this guy chatted me and I figured I do the usual “lets talk about sex.” Chat and get on with my BBS’ing considering I only thought as myself as Curious and in NO WAY homosexual.

Anyhow the guy was extremely nice and kept urging me to come to his office right then so he could suck me off because his boss had just left for out of town and he was horny as hell.

I took down his number and disconnected and debated for a long time. If I did it I would have to feel guilty around my girlfriend and it wasn’t something I could just erase from my memory. OR my other option was to try it…like parents always say to their kiddies “Don’t knock it till you try it.” and my cock was already taking the creases out of my briefs…

Off I went into the rainy afternoon telling myself I wasn’t actually going to go through with it…and I [parked my car, said a little prayer and went to the building. After traveling up the slick stairs outside I got to the building and there was some old lady sitting there looking at me like I had just spit in her tea and asked if I could have some. Shit wrong building it was across the street

Finding the correct office wasn’t difficult once I was in the right building, I went to the door and peeked through the mail slot and saw a guy sitting at a computer and KNEW it had to be him, so I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hello.” He said and introduced himself as I did the same. he was thin with curly brown hair and piercing eyes.

He took me for a little tour of his office which was being remodeled and into his bosses office we went, where he first touched my cock, the first time any man who didn’t have a medical degree had done, it was slow and soft and he moved his hand slightly up and
down, I was in a state of bliss.

He began to remove his clothes and he had a wonderful body, Thin and muscular and a cock that made you want to put Krazy Glu on it so you could throat it all day.

He unzipped my pats and my fat cock sprung free as he immediately took it in his mouth where I discovered why men are better than women. Up and down his head bobbed on my cock as he looked up at my shocked face as I could feel his warm mouth slurping my cock down in contrast to the cool office air, My knees were week and my head was spinning as he instructed me how to play with his nipples.

I had had many orgasms before like most Teenage boys I was an Olympiad masturbator but this time I did not know what was coming over me, My knees shook like I was possessed as I felt that tingle go up my back and I clamped down on his nipples and shot a huge load straight down his throat…and he loved ever bit of my juice as he shot his spunk all over my feet…It was wonderful.

He asked me if I wanted to do anymore, but I had lied earlier and said that I had a meeting and we said our goodbyes and left and I have never seen him again, rest assured I’ve never seen my office friend since and would love to again but in the great big world of BBSing I doubt it will cum true again.

Her Kind of Lover

Filed under Erotic Stories by admin on Monday 17 July 2006
No Tags

I was seduced yesterday, and I just have to tell someone about it! His name is Fred. We work together.

I am thirty-six and married, with two children. Fred is twenty-three, single, and a real dreamboat, with wavy brown hair, big blue eyes and a well-shaped, muscular body. We have been flirting ever since he started working with me about four months ago.

We’ve been having lunch together nearly every day for a couple of weeks. Yesterday we got our day’s work done early. Over lunch he asked me if I would like to join him in his apartment for a drink. After we arrived at his place, I excused myself to the bathroom while he made the drinks. While inside the bathroom I slipped out of my panties and sprayed perfume on the insides of my thighs.
(more…)

Her

Filed under Erotic Stories by admin on Monday 10 July 2006
No Tags

I feel her eyes upon me; I sense the hold I have on her, but I can’t help but wonder why. She’s watching me -every movement- as I dance for her. Yes. I’m dancing only for her. This gives me great satisfaction — dancing for her. I would say I feel quite smug, but I couldn’t explain this feeling very well. So, I simply dance…my body caught up in the passion of the music. The song ends; I look up at her, finally. Our eyes lock…each of us unwavering in this game. I can feel the temperature of my body raise significantly, and I focus this heat into my gaze. I’m sure she can feel my hunger. Perhaps I can even call it need. Whatever it’s name, this wanton feeling continues to grow, creating a perfectly lustful attitude in me.

We’ve played this game far too long, now. Dancing. Watching. Flirting with our desires, but never conceding to them. Week after week, we play the same game. Now, I grow tired of it. I want more, and I know that this intensified desire within me will demand satisfaction. It will not allow my demure manner to push it aside this time. I feel compelled to go to her. Her eyes are inviting me, drawing me. I have no more resistance, and I slide through the crowd, overcome with anticipation. Our faces are merely inches apart, and I could swear we’re the only two people in existence. This close, her unbridled passion is intensely apparent. Our eyes are still quite locked on each other, and I’m finding it impossible to restrain myself. Even she seems to be struggling with a similar dilemma. My lips are pressed to hers, and there’s no longer time to dwell on it. I’ve done it…I’m kissing her. What’s more amazing is the fact that she’s returning it! Our mouths are hungry for each other. I doubt I can get enough; I only want more and more, yet…I pull away. I look at her, asking the question, and she nods.

She’s come home with me. I don’t even bother with the lights. Our clothing falls into a heap on the floor. I lead her to the bed, and she crawls onto it, turning back to face me on her knees. I join her. I begin my exploration…my ‘taking’ of her.

My lips press to hers once again, our tongues dancing together…hungrily exploring each other’s mouths. I’m reminded of what I like most about a woman…her softness.

Soon, my hungering mouth searches for more. My tongue finds a path down her delicate neck. It spends little time there and continues to her breasts, where I suck each on in turn, my teeth grazing her nipples, and I feel them harden. This excites me…her arousal…and I feel warmth spreading throughout me. My own nipples are hard from her fingers teasing them… pressing them.

I lay her on her back and let my mouth wander down her belly to the center of her warmth. Her breaths become shorter as I bury my face between her thighs, my tongue flickering and exploring. She’s wet. I slide a finger inside of her and feel her muscles tighten, begging for more. She squirms, and then turns herself around in a position to do the same for me. Which she does. I can feel her warm mouth sucking and her tongue licking me…delving inside me and back out to play with my hardened clit. She presses two fingers deep into me. I gasp slightly, reveling in the sensation. Our thrusting fingers and flickering tongues continue their pleasuring…the both of us on the verge of utter bliss. She’s wonderful…and intensely fulfilling. I come with a wild abandon, a great satisfying pleasure…and am driven even further to make hers spectacular.

My mouth sucks on her clit; my teeth nipping at it…my fingers feel her clench tightly around them and thrust slightly harder into her…deeper. With her hips raised to meet my face, she orgasms, and I lick hungrily at her…pleased at her divine ecstasy.

Henry Ford Dies and Goes to Heaven.

Filed under Dirty Jokes by admin on Saturday 8 July 2006
No Tags

At the gates, Saint Peter tells Ford, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention of the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.”

So Henry Ford thinks about it and says, “I want to hang out with Adam, the first man.”

So the guy at the gates points Adam out to Ford.

When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, “Hey aren’t you the inventor of woman?”

Adam says, “Yes.”

“Well,” says Ford, “You have some major design flaws in your invention: (more…)

Hay

Filed under Erotic Stories, Girl - Guy by admin on Monday 3 July 2006
No Tags

The young girl climbed the ladder higher and higher she went. Soon, she got to the top and got off onto a wooden platform. She looked out one of the windows of the barn she was in and could see him coming after her. So he had kept her trail and followed her here. He was hard to lose in a game tag. He saw her, she knew she had been found, and so with nothing to lose she teasingly yelled to him.

“You can’t get me, you can’t get me!” she laughed.
(more…)

A Gift for his Lady

Filed under Dirty Jokes by admin on Saturday 1 July 2006
No Tags

A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend’s birthday.

As they had only started dating, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note, personal, but not too personal.

Accompanied by the girlfriend’s younger sister, he went to Dillards and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.

During the wrapping, however, the clerk got the items mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girlfriend got the panties.

The guy sent the package to the girlfriend with the following note: (more…)

Getting Naughty with Raven Riley

Filed under Erotic Stories, Lesbian by admin on Friday 30 June 2006
No Tags

Remember when I posted in my journal a couple months back about meeting Raven Riley out at a club one night? This fine ass 19-year-old vixen is about the coolest chick I’ve ever met. We hung out and danced and talked for hours but at the end of the night we each went our separate ways.

Unfortunately for me, at the time of our first meeting Raven had never been with another girl. However, she was very curious about what it was like and hinted that she wanted to try it one day but she wasn’t quite ready that night. We’ve kept in touch on-line over the last couple of months.

During our correspondence Raven asked a lot of questions about what it was like to be with another woman. One day a couple weeks ago she told me about how she “messed around” with one of her girlfriends one night. She described it as one of her most erotic experiences ever.

She said it was so fucking incredible that she couldn’t wait for her next encounter with a woman so that she could take things a bit further. Too bad Raven lives halfway across the country or else I would have ran over to her place and immediately satisfied her desire to “take things a bit further”. (more…)

Next Page »
Copyright© 2005-2006 LustyJournal.com Sitemap XML.